Who's pouring the beer?

I was going through my Little Pink Notebook tonight, and I noticed something very bothersome. Many of the beers I tried had little to no information. Now hear me out before you judge. But I want to know who decided it was a good idea to hire models to pour beer at a Beerfest? Don't get me wrong, I don't mind if the model actually works for the brewery or actually knows something about the beer they are pouring. But I'm not there for a live Budweiser commercial.

This weekend at The Big Pour, I was constantly given blank stares when I asked about the brewery which they were pouring for. Most of them didn't know anything about the beer period! It was so annoying and aggravating.

There were so many breweries that I was excite to try. I really wanted to talk to someone who could tell me about the beer they were serving. I was excited to try all the new beers. I wanted to know about the different styles they brewed and what was available in my area. I wanted to ask them about the hops and the malts. I wanted to know how they brewed and aged their beers. But I couldn't.

Instead, I was told "I don't know" or "I don't work for the company". It sucked. So I usually took my sample, made a few notes, and moved on to the next table looking for a little beer conversation. Luckily, I was able to find it.

So a word to you, the distributors and breweries. Do yourself a favor. Use educated people to pour your beer. Most people who are willing to fork over $30 or more to try some quality beer aren't there for a Miller Light. They like beer, and they want to know about it. If they wanted some pretty girl to give them beer, they would head down to the local bar and have the girls sell them buckets of cheap, mass produced beer with hopes of winning a free koosie.

-Cheers

This Bud's for You

Note: It didn't work on Zerksis, and it didn't work on us.

Did you have absolutely nothing to do last Saturday night? If you one of the few, and didn't have anything to watch on your Tivo, then you might have done something stupid, like call your old girlfriend, or "drunk channel" surfed and crashed into the latest installment of Saturday Night Live.

The once famous show who gave us stars like Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray, Will Ferrell and Tim Meadows is a mere shell of it's once great self. To add insult to injury, along comes Anheuser Busch to drag the once funny show, further down their spilled beer drain.

I don't know who though it would be a good idea, but the CSI of beer (aka Bud Light Golden Wheat) was the sole sponsor for the entire show. Nearly ever commercial was a Bud Light Golden Wheat commercial. Every segment was brought to you by Bud Light Golden Wheat. There were even Bud Light Golden Wheat viewing parties around the country where I'm sure they handed out Bud Light Golden Wheat t-shirts and Bud Light Golden Wheat koosies.

As hard as I tried to watch the guy from 300 attempt to be funny, I just couldn't get over the constant bombardment of Bud Light Golden Wheat adds. It was nothing short of annoying. What disgust I already have for Anheuser Busch (which brings you Bud Light Golden Wheat) was magnified by the power of 10 burning suns!

Was it really necessary? Was it even a good idea? I don't think so. In fact, I think it probably had the complete opposite effect that AB (who brings you Bud Light Golden Wheat) was looking for. It became almost comical. In fact, the repeated commercials became the best humor of the night. Not for the comedic value, but for the joke that it was.

If not for that kid in the flying saucer balloon (which I think was sponsored by Bud Light Golden Wheat), this would be the worst publicity stunt of the year!

-Cheers

-This blog post was not brought to you by, Bud Light Golden Wheat.

Bud Light Golden Wheat?

Are you kidding me? First it was Bud Light Chelada. Then it was Bud Light Lime. Now it's Bud Light Golden Wheat? What the hell is this all about?

Bud light has become the CSI of beers. In their attempt to market yet another variation of their Bud Light series of beers, Anheuser Busch gives you Bud Light Golden Wheat. An unfiltered wheat beer brewed with "wheat malt, coriander, and citrus peels".

Could it be that InBev (Anheuser Busch) actually cares about making a nice tasting beer? No, it's just marketing. I'm sure it is nothing more than a direct attempt to gain market share from the Miller Coors Blue Moon drinkers? That seems to be the beer with the largest demand these days. A beer that most uneducated beer drinkers think is a craft brewed beer.

Don't expect a review of it here. It's not going to happen. That's not the kind of beer drinker I am. Plus, I don't think A/B ever intended for me to drink one. If they did, they are really stupid. Your average beer snobs will avoid this beer like the Swine Flu.

There are plenty of other "Wheat" style beers out there if you want one. Do yourself a favor, and try any of of them before you actually waste your hard earned money on a bottle of anything with a Bud Light label on it.

-Cheers!

Not enough beer in the world

I have been slacking. I haven't been here in nearly 2 weeks now. It is so unlike me. What has happened? Someone has entered my life and disrupted it. They have thrown my entire world off it's nicely spinning axis. And I don't know what to do to get it spinning again.

About 4 weeks ago, I was introduced to a guy who needed my services. A mutual friend hooked us up. And since I am a guy who loves to make money, I agreed to make the money without realizing the amount of time and wasted effort if would take to make this person happy.

I know I am good. And I figured that I would be able to spend the allotted amount of time with this guy, and make a big chuck of change. However, it seems Satan has sent his spawn and I am now stuck in a never ending vortex. And as of a few minutes ago, I it started all over again.

There isn't enough beer in the world to help me stay sane. I don't know what to do. I don't know when it will ever end. And I don't know what to do. I guess I am going to keep drinking as much beer as possible with hopes that the Happy Juice will take me away.

In the mean time, I have been going through the brews. Check out the "what I'm drinking section". I'm sure it is going to double in length this week.

-help!

Tale from a beer line.

This is going to be short, and sweet. It has been a long day, and I feel like going to bed. But dammit, said I would do this, so here it is.

I was looking through the beers yesterday at, the BevMo. And I noticed these three Frat looking guys. They pushed the shopping cart up and down the rows a few time. Ultimately, they picked up a case of the usual college brews, Bud Light and Miller Lite.

I wasn't judging. They are young, and stupid. But I didn't realize just how stupid they really were. One of the three seemed to have a little style with his beer choices. He walked over and picked up a 6 pack of Samuel Adams Boston Lager. I thought to myself, good choice young man. You are have a future in the beer world.

But I soon realized how screwed we all are. He showed the 6 pack to his friends, put it in their cart and blurted out this gem:

"I drink Sam Adams because he makes good beer, and was a good President".

Wow. The public education system did it's job well, didn't it. Because I really doubt this genius made it into college, or "colege" like his shirt said.

-Cheers!

Bald, it isn't beautiful

I tend to think of my best blog topics when I am sitting in traffic, or bored at work, or at the strip club. By the time I sit down at the computer and check my email, look up my fantasy league stats, and read my facebook page, I either forgot what I was going to write about or i just don’t feel like it. Today, I made an amazing discovery. My phone. I have a full keyboard on my phone and can blog about all the things that I think of during any given day.

For example. I am standing here in line for a movie. There is a guy in front of me with a pony-tail. That alone is enough to laugh about. But this guy is bald. Yes, completely bald on the top and nearly all the way down to his ears. Somehow, he has managed to grow out the 37 strands he has left, and bundle them up into a pony-tail.

Is this really a good look for the guy? I don’t think so. I guess people might not notice he is bald if they are 3 foot tall and standing directly behind him. The other 95% of the people will notice.
This is just one of my thoughts of the day. I’m sure another situation will arise tomorrow. I am actually getting a little excited of the possibility of a great blog post. I need to head to a bar. O, that reminds me of last weekend. But I think I will save that one for tomorrow.

-Cheers!

Is it cool to be Thankful?

I got so sick of EVERY SINGLE BEER BLOG posting the results of the 2008 Great American Brew Fest. It was so pitiful. I mean come on. I couldn't even keep count the amount of blogs who cut and pasted the results like they were doing us a favor.

It reminded me of a Presidential Speech. Why does every stinking station have to broadcast it? CNN, I get it, I understand that one. But MTV, Animal Planet, the Travel Channel? Really? Are you serious?

So to keep with that tradition, I considered writing about what I am thankful for since today is Thanksgiving. However, I would be like one of those channels broadcasting something that everyone else is. I have never been one of those kind of people. I avoid the popular or trendy way of thinking at all costs.

So today, I will tell you that I am thankful for all those people that walk to their own beat.

No, I'm not talking about all those people who join a group to be different. You know who I am talking about. Those people who have no self confidence and join a subculture to "be different". And to be different, they dress, act, and get into everything that everyone in their group does. To conform, it means they are being different? I don't get it. I'm sorry daddy didn't love you. But get over it, and move on.

Anyway, I am talking about people who stand up and voice their opinion even if it pisses someone else off (like I am sure I just did). People who are willing to be their own person. People who say "Screw You" to the man, and mean it.

You know what, I am thankful. I am thankful for those people who were willing to defy an entire country, even if it meant death. The people who were willing to stand up for what they believed is right. Those people who brought beer to this country.

I hope I didn't turn this into a CNN wannabe channel, or a conforming non-conformist.

So I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. Now go drink a beer. A nice Samuel Adams would be perfect today. And be thankful I didn't talk about the guy in the bathroom that didn't wash his hands.

-Cheers!

Beerfest part 3. The people

Part of the fun at beerfest is the people watching. It brings out all kinds of different people. Some good, some bad, and some I can't explain. So I think you might enjoy seeing some of the Fascinating people I met this weekend at "The Big Pour" beer festival.

These guys were here to party. It takes a big man (or Scotsman) to wear a kilt. I would totally wear one. In fact, I will buy one the minute I arrive in Scotland in the year 2012. I'm just saying.

I promised you some pictures of chicks with big racks didn't I. These were big, and fake. But she was old and worn out. I'm sure the guy she was with was 15 years younger than she was. But I told you I would. I am a man of my word. It is all about you, my blogging friends.

OK, one more. I thought this one was funny. Quite the opposite don't you think. But either way, it was a picture I had to get. Like I said, it is all about you guys. I will do whatever I can to make you guys happy.

This guy knows how to drink....or does he? Who would be sitting on the ground at a beer festival? And after one hour of beer? I know one guy. But more on this guy later.

I'm not sure what was up with these two. I think they were "working" the festival. To what degree, I can't say. But they were around all day, and were quite popular with the fellas.

I mentioned I visited the Modelo booth 2 or 4 times didn't I? I needed the free shirt. And I heard they were giving out free glass mugs to people. I tried and tried, but all I got was 2 shirts and a bunch of crappy beer. But I got this photo for you guys. Again, it is all about you.

As the day ran out, I snapped this one. This was my favorite. I don't know if he is a Bleacher Bum from Chicago, a transplant Chicago fan, or an alcoholic Cubs fan. Either way, it was a cool jersey. I should get myself one. But I hate the Cubs. Possibly a Whitesox jersey then.

This girl must have had a bad day. Actually, the story goes something like this. As people were leaving the field, I was taking pictures of the drunk idiots trying to make it up the stairs, or people wearing cool beer shirts or something. This chick flipped me off as she walked up the stairs. I didn't know why. I was trying to take a picture of the guy behind her with a cool shirt (below). Would you really think I would take a picture of such a hottie like this on purpose?

I ran into her in the parking lot as she was leaving. I asked her to flip me off again. She said that felt bad and apologized. I said it was ok and asked if I could get a picture of her doing it again, because I missed it the first time. She said ok.

This is the best shirt of the day. This is the guy that was walking up the stairs with the nice bitch above. I liked his shirt. I wanted to share it with all my fans. What I have to put up with to please you guys. But this shirt sums up what we all felt at the end of beerfest.

These guys did it right. Pedal power is the new taxi. I was really worried about the amount of cars in the parking lot as I arrived. These guys did it right. Biking it to and from the beerfest.

So that is it. There are some more pictures, but I think you get this idea. I wish I could have taken a picture of the drunk hippie in front of me at the Sam Adams baseball throw. Or the completely obliterated frat guys who would have surely thrown a punch if I took their picture. There were plenty of "enhanced" women around. But I realized, they didn't like it when strange men tried to take their picture.

I hope you enjoyed my reviews. I know I sure did. It really was a great time. I hope all of you can attend the next one.

-Cheers!

I'm a stone cold gangster yo

Sometimes, you see something that has got to be a joke, or a punk. But it wasn't. It was proof that the world is full of idiots.

I stopped to get gas yesterday ($2.45 a gallon, Right On!). As I started entering my data into the pump, I hear some idiot driving up with his rap music blaring from his stock stereo. I say that because music (even rap) sounds so cool blaring out of a sweet system. But when a stock stereo is screaming for help with all that distortion, it makes me cringe, and laugh at the same time.

Back to the story.

As I start to pump the gas, I see the idiot pull up to the pump one row over from me. I started to smile. It was a big white Chevy cargo van. It gets better. I hear something to the effect of...."pop, crackle, crackle...I'm a stone cold gangster yo". Then the door from the van, opens.

I started to chuckle. A tall goofy looking white guy gets out of the van. He screams out, "I'M A STONE COLD GANGSTER YO"! I immediately started laughing. The guy looked like Ali G. He was wearing big gold Elvis glasses, and his straight out of Compton, LA Dodgers hat with the front on a little sideways. This had to be a joke. I kept laughing as he strutted into the store from something. Probably a 40 of Mickey's or King Cobra.

While "G" was in the store, a car pulled up to the pump between us. I was just waiting for my receipt from the pump when I hear,

"What's up baby? Yo fine". O my God. Did he really just say that out loud? You see, that car that pulled up had 2 girls in it. I start laughing again as I reached for my camera phone. I had to try to get a picture of this guy because people are not going to believe me when I tell them.

"Sup Baby. You want my numba. I'll give ya my numba."

I notice the driver has now hunched down into her car while the pump is still going. G hopped into his van, and proceeds to lean out his window in his attmpt to woo the laides.

"Whats yo numba baby. Gime yo numba.....Dam, Yo fine"

That's it, I lost it. I am started laughing hysterically. He must have heard me because his eloquent banter with the "fine" women ended, and he started up his sweet ass gangster plumbing van.

The first thing he does is turn up his stereo even louder than it was when he got there.
Pop, crackle, crackle,......."You Fuck'n with me, you Fuck'n with a P.I.M.P".

Just in case we didn't know by now, "G" let us all know again as he drove away.

"You Fuck'n with a P.I.M.P"!

- Cheers

What happened to November?

I walked into the Home Depot yesterday to get some parts for my kegerator build.

(More on that Later)

I swear I just decorated my house for Halloween last week.

Yep, there are still orange lights and pumpkins on my porch.

I don’t understand. Isn't it November? I sure feels like November.

But 2 miles away at the Depot, it is Christmas time.

What happened to Thanksgiving? I didn’t get to eat turkey. I love turkey.

What happened to the month of November?

If I remember right, our great country got it start, in a round about way, in the great month of November. Our founding fathers landed early because they were running out of beer. How could the Home Depot forget about a monumental occasion such as this?

If they sold beer, I'm sure it would still be November there too.

Whorelloween, not just for adults anymore.

I don't know what to say. I wrote my last post about the women (WOMEN) who want to dress like Hookers in hopes of getting lucky, or making up for lost time in high school. But I was shocked by the number of adolescent school girls who came trick or treating to my house dressed in the very costumes I wrote about yesterday. What the hell?

What parent would allow their teenage daughter dress up like a prostitute for some candy? An actual prostitute might. But I doubt there are any in my neighborhood. What is wrong with parents today?

I think I know the answer to this question (they don't give a shit). Still, it amazes me that parents would allow their kids to dress like they work for Heidi Fleiss. Then they are all shocked and appalled when their 16 year old daughter comes home pregnant. The fact that the daddy has a semester of community college and a job as the night manager of the Burger King doesn't make it right.

I'm not trying to drag down family values of today, but come on. Have you ever watched Chris Hansen of Dateline? Parents, get your kids in line. Get a little involved. Don't let your daughters grow up to be a Prostitot.

People are cheap

So I am trying to sell a car. It is a great car in great shape. I know what it is worth and I know what I want to get for it. So why is it that I get all these calls and emails asking me to let them have it for thousands ($5,000-$7,000) less than what I am asking for it? Why, because people are cheap.

When I was a kid looking for a car, i scoured the auto trader looking for the fastest car possible at the cheapest price. I must have called 20 different adds before my dad would finally let us go look at one. As luck would have it, we bought it.

What a sweet car it was. As far as I was concerned, it ran (continue reading) and it was my first car. It wasn't exactly fast, but it was cool. It was a 1951 Chevy pickup. We drove all the way across town so it took a lot for my dad to take me. They were asking $1200 for it. I could hardly stand the anticipation of actually owning my own car. Man, that was a long drive.

As soon as I saw it, I knew it was mine. After a little bit of negotiating, we bought it for $1000. Wow, what a deal. We stole it for $200 less than what he wanted! That deal was a great deal until it broke down on the way home. That $200 we saved was used to tow it the 35 miles home. Either way , it was mine.

So what happened to that time? A time when getting a deal meant saving a few hundred bucks. That few hundred bucks then has turned into a few THOUSAND bucks today! What the hell?

I get it. Times are hard. Gas is $4.00 a gallon. People don't have any money because they lost their job. Just because your house is worth $100 grand less than you paid for it last year, doesn't mean I am going to let you have my car to make up the difference. But why are they the one calling me? Why are they calling to buy a car they can't afford to begin with? Why? Because people are cheap? No, because people are dumb!