The Queen's View of The Big Pour

Well hello lovers. It is I, The Queen. I am here today at the request of the One Who Burps to talk to you about my very first Beerfest experience. Usually he attends these events with his little beer buddies, while I sit at home with the Little Burpers. Okay, so that's a lie. I am usually out shopping with some of the beer wives. But that is neither here nor there. The point is, I attended this one with him (and two of our closest friends) and it was my first.

Now first and foremost, I must tell you a tiny little nothing bit of background info on me. Are you ready? Okay.

Ahem.

I am not a beer lover.

(gasps)

I know. I am sorry. Hey! I know! Stop yelling and throwing things! Let's all just calm down a little. I have slowly been developing a taste for beer over the past few months, and I rarely make that "Oh my god this is so disgusting" face after I take a sip of the Burper's beer. And recently, I have been known to knock back a few whole ones on my own. I know, right? Baby steps people. Baby steps.

So needless to say, I was a little nervous about what this day would bring. But I walked in with an open mind and left with a few faves. Without further ado, here is my review.

Please note: There are many "girly" beers on this list. News flash: I'm a girl. You don't have to try them, but I'm not gonna tell anyone if you do. It's our secret, okay? All righty then, where were we?

1. Lindeman's Framboise: I have had this before, it is divine. Seriously. It tastes like liquefied raspberry jam in a glass. So delish. Grade: a million Burps.

2. Dogfish Head Raison: Yummy. But kind of a yucky after taste. But it's fun to say. "Raison!" You have to kind of start your "r" sound in the back of your throat and then end it with a long "oh" sound and only a hint of the "n", just like the French. Say it with me - "Raison!" Ooh la la, oui oui! Grade: 3 burps (2 1/2 for taste and 1/2 for pronunciation).

3. Coney Island: Okay so obviously I was still concentrating on saying "Raison" and I forgot to write down which Coney Island I tried. But I did note that it was a little "gingery" with a nutty after taste. And just okay. Grade: 2 Burps.

4. Wyders Pear Cider: Gross. So so so gross. Not even Burp Grade material. Instead I give it a gag.

5. Wyders Raspberry Cider: Excellent. Light and refreshing, like a flavored mineral water. Grade: 3 Burps.

6. Redstone Meadery Black Raspberry Nectar: First sip was okay. Second sip not so good. An overwhelming flavor of cheap beer and cough syrup, but slightly fruity. Grade: 1 Burp.

7. Strongbow Cider: Oh. My. God. This is my most favorite thing in the whole world to drink. Just hook me up to an IV and I am happy. I paid so many visits to this booth, by the end of the night I was Facebook friends with the girl pouring. Grade: A million trillion bazillion Burps and four snaps in a Z formation.

8. Mikes Hard Lemonade - Spiced Apple: Delicious! Like Christmas in your mouth. I am pretty sure this is what Mrs. Claus is drinking while Santa is out doing deliveries. Grade: 4 Burps.

9. Full Sail Session Black - I was surprised at how good this was. I actually met the Pour Girl, Celeste, in the ladies room prior to tasting the beer. My girlfriend Lola and I were having a serious conversation about legalizing marijuana and Celeste piped in with her opinions. I liked her right away. She took good care of us the rest of the day. Another fun thing about this beer, there are drinking games in the cap! How cool is that? Fun and functional! And dudes, I am all about multi tasking, know what I mean? Grade: 4 Burps!

10. Session Lager - Not as good as the black, the aftertaste was a little too much for me. But because Celeste knew her stuff, I am still giving it 2 1/2 Burps.

11. Ace Pear Cider - Sweet and Yummy. Grade 3 Burps.

12. Fuller's London Pride - I know The One Who Burps loves this beer. And I feel a little guilty about saying this but BLECH!! Not good. Grade: 1 gag.

13. Stone Smoked Porter - I don't remember this one. My notes say it tasted like "dirt mixed with asshole." That can't be good. Grade: 1 gag.

14. Rogue Dead Guy Ale - Oh. My. God. So disgusting. Lola said this one was like swallowing a fart. Grade: 2 gags.

15. NYPD Pizza is the BOMB. (Obviously this is where I got a little loopy.) And just in case you are wondering, this note has nothing to do with beer.

16. Magner's Irish Cider - My notes say this one tastes like ass sitting in apples. Again, can't be good. Grade: 40 gags and a dry heave.

17. Old World Blonde - A deliciously refreshing and nutty beer. Loved it! Thank God The One Who Burps is friends with these guys. YUM! Grade - 4 Burps.

Well there you have it. All in all, my first Beerfest experience was a good one. I had a great time, learned a lot about beer and got to see my man in his element. It was wonderful and I am looking forward to the next one.

Until then, cheers!

BEERFEST. Part 1 - The Beer

That is another Beerfest in the books. What can I say, i loved it? I can't wait until the next one? I do that every time. So what was the best part of Beerfest?

The Beer.

There were hundreds of different beers to taste. The amount of quality beers available is almost overwhelming. I felt a little stressed when I first arrived. I thought quietly to myself,


- "How am I going to try all these beers in just six hours"?


- "How am I going to try them all with only 24 tickets in my pocket"?

The answer to that daunting question. "One at a time"



So lets get started.



My strategy was to get in and out as fast as possible. Just like a "whore in Church". (That seems to be a popular quote lately). I needed to hit the breweries that I knew would be the "E Ticket" lines. So I started with the ever popular breweries like Stone, Dogfish Head, Deschutes, Rogue, and New Belgium. Time, and beer, well spent. I might have actually hit a couple of them two or three times. But who is counting (Stone 3 times).

For the rest of the afternoon, I made my way in and out of most of the other breweries lines. I looked for beers that were the newest creations, or the ones which I have never tried. That was a hard task. But I did manage to try a few that I really enjoyed. And I did happen to try some that I think I will never try again.

So that is my story. Now, here is the beer list.

1. Stone Brewery - Oak Aged Ale: "This is a great beer. Very flavorful, and great mouth feel"

2. Deschutes - Green Lakes Organic Ale: "Hoppy and Nutty. Clean finish"

3. Reaper Ale - Morality Stout: "Malty flavor. Clean Finish. No aftertaste"

4. Sam Adams - Imperial Reserve: "Gooooood! I Like It"! "Buy some.

5. Bitch Creek - 20th Anniversary Double ESB Ale: "Very Good"

6. Sun Up Brewery - Armadillo Red Ale: "Hoppy aftertaste"

7. Oak Creek - King Crimson Red Ale: "11% alcohol. Kinda taste it. Enjoyable"

8. Dogfish Head - Raison D'Entre: "Yummy". (I remember asking where Sam was. The guy said "Who"?)

9. New Belgium - Seasonal: "?"

10. Oggies - Asylum something Triple something Ale: "O.K."

11. Speak Easy IPA - Big Daddy: "Dude is a dork" (I remember this. I asked for something else. The stupid "volunteer" didn't know what it was. He started asking the other volunteers. So I told him, give me that. Speak Easy was right behind him.)

12. Port Brewing - Hop 15: "I like this one"

13. Old World Brewery - Wit: "I don't like Wits. Bit this is good".

14. Deschutes Brewery - Inversion IPA: "Un legible" (Is this correct grammar? It must have been the beer talking)

15. Dogfish Head - 90 Minute IPA: "Thank you GOD for creating Sam. I love this Beer". (Something like this. That is what I meant to write)

16. Odell Brewing - IPA: "O.K."

17. Boulder Beer - Hazed & Confused: "?"

18. Sonoran Brewing - Inebriator: "No"

19. New Belgium - Mothership Wit: "+" (Whatever this means)

20. Coronado Brewing - Red Devil: "+" (Again? I don't know what I meant)

21. Old World Brewery - Stout: "Gooooood".

22. Lost Abbey - I don't know: But "I LOVE it"!

Unfortunately, I didn't get to try all the beers. My list ended somewhere around 28. But I can't figure out exactly what they were. I guess I was feeling pretty good by that time. And my handwriting is proof of it. And a side effect of this, is that my reviews became very archaic. You can see some had nothing more than a +, or No, or ?. I don't know what I was saying.

What is amazing is that when I got home, I had 38 sample tickets in my pocket. That's weird, because I started with 24. O well, at least I got to try twenty something great beers. I think next time, I might take a recorder. That should make for some great audio.

-Prost!

I got a job, in a brewery

This is not entirely true. In order to qualify as a job, don't you have to be paid? Then again, if I am paid with education and a great time, isn't that a form of payment? If so, can this qualify as a job? I just confused myself. But what it really means is that I am going to be hanging out in an all new brewery.

What is this brewery I am speaking of? It is called Old World Brewery. By nothing more than happenstance, I found it. And a couple days ago, I had the pure enjoyment of hanging out, drinking some fine beer, and talking to one of the owners, Perry Parmely.

Located in the north part of Phoenix, Old World Brewery is looking to carve out it's own place in the Four Peaks dominated brewery scene. And from my observation, I think they are going to do just that.

Over the next week, I will be posting pictures of the brewery, evaluating the beers, conducting a full interview, and possibly even getting my hands dirty in an attempt to help brew some beer. The guys will be set up this weekend at the Great Arizona Brew Festival. Be sure to stop by and try their brews. I think you will like them.

-Cheers!