Friday, October 31, 2008

Whorelloween, not just for adults anymore.

I don't know what to say. I wrote my last post about the women (WOMEN) who want to dress like Hookers in hopes of getting lucky, or making up for lost time in high school. But I was shocked by the number of adolescent school girls who came trick or treating to my house dressed in the very costumes I wrote about yesterday. What the hell?

What parent would allow their teenage daughter dress up like a prostitute for some candy? An actual prostitute might. But I doubt there are any in my neighborhood. What is wrong with parents today?

I think I know the answer to this question (they don't give a shit). Still, it amazes me that parents would allow their kids to dress like they work for Heidi Fleiss. Then they are all shocked and appalled when their 16 year old daughter comes home pregnant. The fact that the daddy has a semester of community college and a job as the night manager of the Burger King doesn't make it right.

I'm not trying to drag down family values of today, but come on. Have you ever watched Chris Hansen of Dateline? Parents, get your kids in line. Get a little involved. Don't let your daughters grow up to be a Prostitot.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

October 31st, Whorelloween is here!

Can someone tell me when Halloween become National Slut Day? What happened to the ghosts, witches, princesses, and vampires? I will tell you what happened. They grew up, and became sluts (not that I am judging).
The Witch grew into the Wicked Witch, and the Princess became a Hooker, while the Vampire became a Trampire. What happened to the innocence of Halloween? It used to be about the candy, and the pumpkins. Now, it is more about the "Tricks", than the Treats.
However, to keep with the Halloween Spirit, I feel it is my duty to show you some of my favorites.

The Pirate.
I don't remember anyone looking like this on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. Nor do I remember any in the the three movies . But I have a feeling if there had been, parts 2 and 3 would have been so much better!

A Devil.

Ok, I get this one. It is Halloween, and devils have always been popular. But for the life of me, I can honestly tell you that I don't remember a single one of them looking like this. It kind of makes you second think that whole, "devil is bad" thing, doesn't it.

A Nurse.

Hmmm.....I think I might be coming down with a fever. No wonder hospital bills are outrageous today. Who knew that they were offering "Escort Service" to their patients as well. I wonder how much insurance would cover.

The Mafia.
Wasn't she in The Godfather? No, it might have been Good Fellas. I just can't remember for sure.

It has got to be a difficult to hide a gun in that outfit somewhere. It has got to make it even harder to eliminate someone without being noticed in an outfit like this. This might not be the best choice of suit for a "Whacking".

Beer Wench

This is my favorite. You can't go wrong with this one. It is practical, colorful, and tasteful. Isn't that nice. She even has a beer in her hand for me. I feel so honored that she would feel the need to bring me a beer dressed as an authentic beer maid from Germany.

I just love Halloween!


Saturday, October 25, 2008

Top 5 list. Drinking Buddies.

Everyone has a list. No, not that list. The other one. The 5 people you would want to have dinner with. I'm not going to say Jesus, Nelson Mandella, Ghandi, the Dhali Llama, and Bono. That would be extremely boring. So screw dinner, I want to drink with these guys.
My Top 5 Drinking Buddy list.

5. Sam Calagione. The "Brewing Rock Star" himself of Dogfish Head Brewery. How can I not have my "man crush" on my list? The guy is an artist when it comes to brewing. He is a modern day beer guru. And a big bonus, he can bring the beer!

4. Babe Ruth. The "Sultan of Swat". What is a party without the Babe? This guy could drink everyone under the table. and still go 4 for 5 with 2 home runs the next day. Anyone who can drink like that deserves a seat at the bar in my book.

3. Leonardo DaVinci. "Artist, Inventor". This man was nothing short of a genius. Could you imagine what he could come up with as a beer? What about a brewing process. I'm sure he could scratch out the design for a more efficient brewing machine on a bar napkin. It would revolutionize brewing as we know it today.

2. Charles Barkley. "Sir Charles". We all know the Chuckster likes to drink and have a good time. I would never have to worry about the conversation because Charles always has something to say. And if we get lucky, he just might throw someone through a plate glass window.

1. Benjamin Franklin. "Patriot, Brew Master". Where would we be today without Ben? Without a sweet-ass quote. We beer people know it and live it. Sure, he was smart too. But the guy liked to party! Besides working insane hours inventing stuff and helping to form a new government, he loved to brew beer. Wouldn't it be cool to hear him talk about his brewing process as he bitched about Sam Adams and John Hancock.

Alternate: Someone is bound to call in sick. So I need 1 more, just in case.

Jim Koch. "Microbrew Pioneer". The legend. The founder of Boston Beer and Samuel Adams Boston Lager. (That sounds so good right now). On a personal level, it is a dream of mine to meet the man. Plus he knows his beer! We could talk and drink beer all night long. It would be so cool to get a look inside that man's head.

Like it or not, this is my list. Believe me, it was so hard to narrow it down to just the main 5. I thought of many others. But for the reasons given, I had to remove them from contention.

John Lennon. But he would bring Yoko with him. And we all know what happens next. She would make him leave early.
Jimi Hendrix. He could play a mean guitar. But "under the influence", he is likes to start fires.
Henry the 8th. A "Big" party guy. But a bit of a hothead! He might get drunk and try to send us to the Gallows if we disagree with him.
Elvis Presley. The King. He would be awesome. But I would have to worry every time he got up to use the bathroom. If he didn't try to steal my prescriptions, he might die on my "throne".
Adolph Hitler. A little bit of a psycho. We could try to get him to hook up with Yoko. If not, Charles could throw him through the window!
- Cheers!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Ten Pin Porter. I hate bowling.

I have a plan. You might have noticed that I jump around a lot with my beer selection. I try to stay as diversified as possible. Keep things loose. That’s the way I roll.

(Get it? The bowling thing? Never mind.)

Anyways, this is my new plan. I am going to try to avoid talking about the same kind of beer in consecutive posts. This will keep my pallet fresh for the next tasty brew.

Are you ready? Here it goes.

SKA-Brewing Ten Pin Porter. From Durango Colorado. I have had a few of their other brews. I really wanted to like this one, but I don’t think I do. It is OK. It represents a porter well. Has a nice color, and a pleasant chocolate and coffee aroma. It has a nice malt and a caramel taste, with a slight bitter finish. But the overall flavor is weak. I wanted it to have a better mouth feel. I took my time drinking it with hopes that the increasing temperature would bring an increased taste. But it didn’t. It just doesn’t compete with a good porter.

So to sum it up. Did I like it? No. Was it good? Yes. Would I recommend it? That depends. If you are in the mood for something a little darker, but don’t want to jump into the deep end, this is the porter for you. However, if you are looking for a good porter, get something else.

By the way, I really hate bowling.


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Austria, another place for beer

This is getting bad. Three beer reviews in a row. I have no problem giving my opinion on anything, so I guess I will give you my opinion on my latest beer, Stiegl Pils.

To begin with, I am a HUGE fan of the Bavaria and Austrian breweries. I first had this beer in Salzburg last year. As with nearly all of the beer I drank, I loved it. With that said, I was a little disappointed with it here at home. I was really hopping for a more authentic representation of an Austrian Pislner.

To start, the taste was a little weak. It didn't have an aftertaste, but a little bit of a bitterness as it left the pallet. Overall, it just didn't taste like it should have. The light color was typical and expected, with a quickly dissolving head.

I don't know if I had set such a high bar for it, or I am comparing it to what I remember. Either way, it just didn't measure up. I am a little bummed out.

So to sum it up. Did I like it? Yes. Was it good? No. Would I recommend it? I don't think so.

There are so many other beers like it, so don't waste you money on this one. Trumer Pils comes to mind. Just buy the beer on either side of this one.


Tuesday, October 21, 2008

90 Minute IPA. Sam is the man!

I just accidentally opened a bottle I have been saving. It is 90 Minute Imperial IPA from, say it with me, Dogfish Head. Yes, I am in love with them these days. This brew has won countless awards, and now I know why.

I bought a 4 pack of this a while back. I had heard it was good. It won the "Best Strong Beer" at the 2007 Stockholm Beer & Whiskey Festival, Zymurgy, the Journal of the American Homebrewers Association, voted it the best commercial beer in America, and it was won the "Battle of the Beers" on for 3 consecutive years. It scores an A on, and a score of 99 on I have to agree.

I will admit, I am not a huge fan of the overpowering hop flavored beers. But the beer is so good, and finishes so clean. You get that first hit of hops, which is so enjoyable. Then you miss it as is fades away. Only to love it once again with the next taste.

You are aware of my "man crush" on Sam Calgione by now. This beer is the reason all of you should feel the same way. To invent a beer like this is nothing short of amazing. This is what makes beer so enjoyable. To find a beer like this, so different that all the other mass produced beers today, makes my love of beer even stronger.

The only thing that sucks about drinking this beer, is that I am all out. So now I have to get some more. That means another $50 beer run to the BeMo. This is a hard thing to explain to the wife.

So to sum it up. Did I like it? Yes! Was it good? Yes! Would I recommend it? Hellz Yeah!

It looks like I just reviewed another beer. I fear this is going to be a regular thing. My blog is going to be so busy.


Sunday, October 19, 2008

What I'm drinking today?

What am I drinking today? I usually post it over there on the right, for all the world to see. I figured a list would be a little easier to do. Not to mention a lot less time consuming. I really don't have the desire to critique every beer I drink, because I drink so many.

To keep up with my ongoing theme, "Man Crush on Sam Calagione", I am going to recommend his latest seasonal creation, Punkin Ale. What will he come up with next?

Did I like it? Yes. Is it good? Yes. Would I recommend it to others? Yes.

I love to talk about beers and try to get my friends and family to try a real beer. The person who I try to persuade more than anyone else is my wife. Usually, all it takes is a sip and I know she hates it. But here reaction to Punkin Ale stumped me. It wasn't until she asked for a second try that I knew I had a winner.

I am not a fan of flavoring beers with stuff. I think the Germans got it right centuries ago with the Reinheitsgebot. However, Dogfish Head has made it an art. I have had some bad pumpkin beers in my time, but this is by far the best of them. You can smell, and taste the slight hint of pumpkin, without it overpowering your senses. There is a great balance between the malt, pumpkin, brown sugar, and cinnamon. Overall, it is a very drinkable beer.

There you have it. A beer critique.

- Cheers

Sam Calagione, a brewing rock star

I was recently labeled a "brewer groupie" by a fellow blogger after I talked
about the "man crush" I have for Sam Calagione and Jim Koch. So to dive a little deeper into the world of great brewers, I decided to read a book. What luck. Sam Calagione had indeed written a book about the trials and tribulations he went through while starting up his brewery, Dogfish Head, one of the fastest growing breweries in the country.
As a beer fan, I found the book to be entertaining and enjoyable. Sam tells us his memorable stories and lessons learned while he tried to get his brewery up and running. From the failed publicity stunts and successful campaigns, to his loss of friends and customers. Like the time he spent in an airport back room being interrogated by the TSA, his stories are full of humor, and humility.
As a fledgling home brewer with ideas of someday opening my own brewery, I found the book to be educational and extremely inspirational. I related to Sam's big dreams on a little budget. Starting a brewery with a 12 gallon home brew system is an amazing feat. However, by brewing such small batches, it allowed Sam to experiment with different ingredients. Thus, making Dogfish Head Brewery what it is today, "Off Centered Ales for Off Centered People".
All bias aside, this is really a good book. It isn't just for the beer crowd, but for anyone who owns, or someday plans to own their own business. Sam shares with the reader how difficult, as well as rewarding it has been to be a business owner. I found myself on several occasions flip flopping back and forth with my dream of following in Sam's footsteps. Who knows what the future holds? Not even Sam was willing to say. All in all, Dogfish Head makes some amazing beer. It was almost as much fun reading his book, as it is dinking his beer.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Reason to Drink - Game 5

As if I needed another reason to drink beer. How do you blow a 7 run lead with only 9 outs to go? I don't know. I wish I knew.

I love baseball. I love it with a burning passion deep within my soul. It kills me when my team looses. It ruins my day, and can put me in the worst mood. So bad in fact, that a beer or 3 doesn't make me feel any better.

My teams are out of it this year, so I have to pick a surrogate team. Anyone who plays the Dodgers is usually my motto. But this post season, it is the Tampa Bay Rays. They beat one pair of Sox so I hope they can do it again.

I am siting here screaming obscenities at my TV. Why? I don't know. Maybe because I like to. I have seen some torrential meltdowns over the decades, but this is right up there. I don't necessarily hate the Boston Redsox, but dammit, I want the Rays to win.

I guess it isn't over yet. The series moves south for game 6 and 7. Hopefully it is a day game so all the blue hairs can get out and support the Rays before heading to Luby's by 4:30 for the senior citizens discount dinner.

8 runs in 2.2 innings. Amazing.

I need a beer.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

What is a beer snob?

I like good beer, but all my friends think I am a beer snob. Maybe I am, but I will drink a cheap beer now and then. But last night, I realized that other people's opinion of a beer snob is quite different from mine.

We were going over to a friends house last night for dinner. Lets call them the "Newbies". So Mrs. Newbie called my wife all excited because she bought a case of beer for the dinner party. It was a case of Bud Light. She heard that I loved beer and thought I would be excited that she got some.

My wife proceeded to restrain her shared excitement with Mrs. Newbie. She could tell from my wife's subdued tone that something was wrong. She asked, "What's wrong? He doesn't like Bud Light? He drinks Coors Light doesn't he". O man, I nearly shot Fuller's out my nose at that one. Then I gagged a little bit at the thought of having to drink it. The beer I hate more than any other beer out there is "Redneck Light", aka Coors Light.

My wife, trying to be as anti-snooty as possible on my behalf, replied with, "No, he won't drink either one of those. He is a bit of a beer snob". That was sweet of her, looking out for me. Then again, it makes me look like a beer snob. I guess that is OK. I can live with that. Whatever it takes to get me out of forcably consuming a Coors.

I never would have guessed what Mrs. Newbie's idea of a snobby beer would be. It is a classic. I might even get it printed on a shirt. She replied with:

"Oh, so he drinks Corona then?"


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

In search of a Kegerator

How hard can it be to buy a kegerator? I have been searching for the last month for the perfect beer dispenser for my guy room. I had no idea how many different kinds there are. I can make one, or buy one for $100 to $2500. All I want is fresh beer from a tap in my own home.
Any beer loving human will tell you that beer from a tap (keg) is better than a bottle or a can, unless you are a redneck. I like my beer to be fresh and taste like it was meant to taste. I want a keg of beer in my house chilled inside a cold thing that isn't a bucket from a frat house.
After looking on the internet, I have found hundreds of ways people have figured out how to dispense beer. Here are some examples.

This one is cool. A custom painted fridge modified into a Kegerator. I guess I could buy this, or build my own. But that seems like a lot of work. Honestly, I don't have that kind of time.

Or this one. This guy actually built one on to the back of his truck. Now I am sure this guy is a redneck. What other person would actually feel the need to attach a full contraption like this to his ball hitch? I think this borders on an alcohol problem.

But this one has got to be the best. It is a home DUI video Game. It is a driving video game with a kegerator in the trunk. I guess it is for all those sad assholes who want to practice driving drunk. And for the price of a DUI fine and a night in jail, you can learn how to do it at home for free!

I want to know what idiot actually spent money on this thing. I want to be sure to stay as far away as possible from this alcoholic douchebag!
This is what I am up against. My search seemed easy enough at first. That was until I realized that there are a lot of people out there who can't go without beer no matter the cost or the
idiocracy. On second thought, I think I will just stick to bottles.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Draft Magazine

I am not a big fan of advertising. In fact, I hate it. However, I feel it is my duty to pimp Draft magazine to all the beer lovers (or blog readers) of the world.

I first found this magazine about 4 months ago after a drinking buddy told me about it. I have since subscribed and look forward to it every month. It is chocked full of everything I love about beer. It has history lessons, beer recommendations, top ten lists, articles about brewers, and my favorite, drinking games.

This month was a great surprise when I saw my two heroes on the cover, Sam Calagione from Dogfish Head and Jim Koch from Boston Beer Company. It was cool to read about them on a personal level and their true love of brewing.

The October issue is going to top this issue by far. It is all about Oktoberfest. It has a super hot babe in a dirndl holding a beer on the cover. O man, that is as good as porn to me. I can't wait to look, I mean read the articles.