Sunday, September 21, 2008

Happy Oktoberfest, day 2

Today is the second day of Oktoberfest, the greatest festival in the world. I hope all of you are enjoying it as much as I am. If not, it's your loss. Only 14 more days days, and plenty of bier to drink. So go find yourself a litre of Munchen's Marzen (a beer brewed only for Oktoberfest) and celebrate.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Happy Oktoberfest!

Today is the first day of the biggest festival in the world, Oktoberfest. I plan to write extensively about this. However, I am currently "celebrating" (drinking mass quantities of beer) Oktoberfest. Stay tuned......Prost!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Screw you Bud!

Dear Anheuser-Busch,

"Budweiser American Ale". Really? An ale now? Why? Does America really need the evil empire of beer to make an ale? Who thought of this? Does he still work there? Is this a joke?

Do you think that we are stupid? Are you really that arrogant to think that if you bombard us with brand recognition, we will start buying your beer?

What about all the rednecks? Will they give up their Buds and Bud Lights for a beer that really wasn't named to honor their hero, D"ale" Earnhardt? Well, I guess if you slap the logo all over a car that can only turn left, some might.

Isn't $46 Billion enough for you? Do you really need to try to take business away from all the hard working microbreweries across the country. These breweries are what made beer good again. It isn't about your Super Bowl commercials. It isn't about the horses. It's about the beer. I hope someday you realize that.

Beer lovers everywhere.

Blog Envy?

It's been like 3 weeks now since I started this blog. I wrote 5 posts in 3 days. I was on a roll. Look at the date now, a full week from my last post. What is wrong with me? O God, I think I am suffering from, blog envy.

How hard could it be to sit down at the computer and type out something insightfull, profound, entertaining, educational, or freaking funny every day? I wish I knew. If I did, I would be helping humanity everyday with my super post.

I'm sure Batman took a day off every now and then to build that sweet batcave, or take out another supermodel to the hottest spot in town. Even Superman had time to keep a full time job at The Daily Planet while fighting crime all night. I bet he went to a few happy hours after work now and then. He looks like the kind of guy who could knock down a few pints of Guinness before flying off to bust Lex Luther.

I guess the people who write everyday are superbloggers. They go to work, pick up dinner for the family, and drive the kids to baseball practice just like anyone else. However, these superbloggers still have enough time and write an amazing post about something that made me smarter, happier, angrier, or even inspired. I envy them. I hope some day to be as good as these people. I hope someday, I can give someone, blog envy.

Friday, September 5, 2008

It's hard to be this good!

I started this blog a week or so ago. My idea was to talk (complain) about all the stupid people I come across daily. In addition, I wanted to give people my opinions on beer. The funny thing is that most of my posts have been about my beer. I am starting to realize that as much as I hate stupid people, and as much as they piss me off, a beer makes everything better.

I haven't been a beer drinker for that long. There was a time when a 6 pack would last a month or more in my fridge. I would drink a bottle on the weekend, or go wild and drink one on a "school night". I would pawn the rest off on my friends and family just to get rid of it. I was a very popular guy in the neighborhood.

Then came the day that changed everything. I was watching "Passport to Europe" with Samantha Brown on the Travel Channel. As luck would have it, it was a marathon and I had a new 6 pack of Pilsner Urquell in the fridge. I was all set for the next 5 hours.

I never had an interest in traveling outside of the country. But after watching 4 hours of Samantha tour around Paris, London, Venice, Vienna, and Berlin, I was hooked. In a matter of hours, I had a plan to head across the pond to the U.K. and visit jolly ol' London. I was excited to see all the places Samantha went. However, I was more excited to drink the beer. That was it. That was the beginning of my love for beer.

I began to "train" for my vacation that very weekend. As I mentioned earlier, I wasn't much of a beer drinker. I needed to practice. So I went to the store and bought two 6-packs of beer, Bass Ale and New Castle Brown Ale. It was an eye opening experience. This was really a different kind of beer, and I liked it. I liked it a lot. I started training a little slow by drinking 1 beer a day, everyday. Then on the weekends, I would train a little harder by having 2 or 3 a day. By the time I arrived in London, I was good to go.

As soon as I stepped out of the tube tunnel onto the London streets, I was hooked. By the second day, I was ready to return the next year. By the third day, I had decided that I wanted to return to Europe every year. I was in love with London, and I loved the English Ale. However, I knew there was better beer still out there. That beer that I speak of is brewed in a place called Germany. Germany translates to, "Disneyland for beer". O yeah, I love Disneyland.

London beer is a good top, but Germany is the major leagues. Not a place for the timid beer drinker. If I could have hired a personal trainer, I would have. Upon arriving home from London, I started my training at a furious pace. I went at it with everything I had.

By the time I got to Munich, I was up to 3 beers a night. Now I know that doesn't seem like much, but it was for me. On a weekend, I would go through a case. I was dedicated! I drank my way through breakfast, lunch, and dinner in Germany. I can't even begin to describe how amazing the beer was. To have a litre of the best beer in the world (remember, this is my blog and my opinion is the only one that counts) was the pinnacle of all my hard work. This was the gold medal for all my hard work and determination. Every litre they brought me was another trophy that I could drink.

Today, I don't drink as much as I used to. I drink more. But I don't drink cheap beer. I look for a new beer to try every time. The selection of beer that is available is amazing. Some of my favorite beers are micro brews made right here is the states. Breweries like Flying Dog, New Belgium, Dogfish Head, Lost Coast, and Moylan's are what makes beer so much fun. There is a different beer to drink everyday, so I do. I am good. I am really good. It is hard to be this good.


Wednesday, September 3, 2008

How much for a word?

A man is only as good as his word. That is what my dad always told me. He told me that people who lie, or make deals without following through with them are people you want to avoid. Without his word, what is that man worth? I will tell you, nothing. So I say to that person, you suck!

You are a dirt bag. How can you tell a person that you are going to do something, and then at the blink of an eye, not do it? Or better yet, not even bother to tell them that were no longer going to doing it? Instead, you run away and hide, then leave it up to someone else to do your dirty work. Are you kidding me? This is 2008. 9 year old kids have cell phones, text messaging, and email. You, a grown adult can't seem get hold of one of these simple forms of technology, to simply let everyone know that you suck. You really did it. You backed out of your deal faster than a truckload of illegals in the Home Depot parking lot when "the man" shows up.

So to everyone out there who ever screwed someone by giving their word, and backing out of it, I have 4 words for you. "Karma is a bitch"! I pray to God that someone, sometime, returns the favor. Then you will see what it is like to betrayed by someone. You will feel the pain and panic set in as you think to yourself, "what the hell am I going to do now". You are a gutless piece of shit. Your word is worth nothing. Therefore, you are worth nothing. Do everyone a favor and just crawl back into your hole and die.

Monday, September 1, 2008


Every self respecting beer lover has a favorite beer. And each of those people have a session beer. A beer that they tend to drink on a regular basis when they just want a beer. According to www., "The purpose of a session beer is to allow a beer drinker to have multiple beers, within a reasonable time period or session, without overwhelming the senses or reaching inappropriate levels of intoxication". For me, that beer is Tennent's.

If I asked most people to name a beer from Scotland, I'm sure the first would be Guinness, followed by Harp, Harpoon, or Smithwick's (pronounced "Smid-ick's). Now these are fine examples of brew from the land of funny accents and bagpipes. However, all those beers are from Ireland.

As irony would have it, the first time i had a Tennent's was in an Irish pub. After a few pints of Harp and Guinness, I ordered a Tennent's. Wow, this really was a different beer. The first thing I noticed was a slight hint of honey. Before I knew it, I finished it. Now this was a good beer. So I ordered another one, and then a round for my friends. We were hooked!

I'm sure I don't have to explain to everyone that beer in a bottle doesn't taste like beer from a tap. But damn, Tennent's is good from just about anything. If it came in a plastic baby bottle, I would drink it and enjoy every minute of it. I find myself having a minor panic attack when I take that last bottle out of my beer fridge. Then I can't even begin to describe the pure euphoria I get when I find a lone bottle tucked in the back behind the bottle of Fuller's.

So as I sit here and finish off my last bottle, I think "WWWWD". What Would William Wallace Do? I bet it would go something like this.

"You've come to drink as free men, and free men you are. What would you do without Tennent's? Will you drink? Drink, and you may die. Drink, and you will live, at least for a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade all of this for a chance, just one chance to tell our enemies, that they may take our lives, but they will never take away, our Tennent's"!