Now I am the Master

I just came up with a new name for myself. For now on, I will demand for my friends and family to refer to me as, "The Beer Master". You may be asking yourself how I am able to make such a claim.

My friends like to call me, "The Beer Connoisseur", and for good reason. I admit, I have to agree with them. However, I think I have moved to on to the next level.

Here is my story.

I got an email from my cousin today. He was in dire need of help. So of course, he calls the Master (me). You see, my little cousin is in a desperate search. An all important search for an ever valuable beer.

You see, his friend from work was just transferred to "Beer Nirvana". a.k.a. Belgium. This guy has been living the dream, and drinking beer after beer from all the amazing Belgium breweries. Now, one of these sweet nectars has turned this rookie beer drinker into a beer lover.

He tells my cousin that he has got to find this beer as soon as possible, at any cost. Because I am who I am, I (The Connoisseur) was the first, and only call. It is enriching to teach the younger Miller Lite generation the way to enlightenment.

Without haste, I proceeded to give my lil cuz all the information he would need in order to be successful in his crusade.

The amazing part of this story is, I have this beer sitting in my fridge right now. In fact, I always have bottles of this in my fridge at all times.

To make my status legendary, I emailed a photo of myself drinking it at that very moment.

What beer could have been?

It was the infamous, Delirium Tremens.

I know...I know. I am the shit!

-Prost!

What happened to November?

I walked into the Home Depot yesterday to get some parts for my kegerator build.

(More on that Later)

I swear I just decorated my house for Halloween last week.

Yep, there are still orange lights and pumpkins on my porch.

I don’t understand. Isn't it November? I sure feels like November.

But 2 miles away at the Depot, it is Christmas time.

What happened to Thanksgiving? I didn’t get to eat turkey. I love turkey.

What happened to the month of November?

If I remember right, our great country got it start, in a round about way, in the great month of November. Our founding fathers landed early because they were running out of beer. How could the Home Depot forget about a monumental occasion such as this?

If they sold beer, I'm sure it would still be November there too.

Whorelloween, not just for adults anymore.

I don't know what to say. I wrote my last post about the women (WOMEN) who want to dress like Hookers in hopes of getting lucky, or making up for lost time in high school. But I was shocked by the number of adolescent school girls who came trick or treating to my house dressed in the very costumes I wrote about yesterday. What the hell?

What parent would allow their teenage daughter dress up like a prostitute for some candy? An actual prostitute might. But I doubt there are any in my neighborhood. What is wrong with parents today?

I think I know the answer to this question (they don't give a shit). Still, it amazes me that parents would allow their kids to dress like they work for Heidi Fleiss. Then they are all shocked and appalled when their 16 year old daughter comes home pregnant. The fact that the daddy has a semester of community college and a job as the night manager of the Burger King doesn't make it right.

I'm not trying to drag down family values of today, but come on. Have you ever watched Chris Hansen of Dateline? Parents, get your kids in line. Get a little involved. Don't let your daughters grow up to be a Prostitot.

October 31st, Whorelloween is here!

Can someone tell me when Halloween become National Slut Day? What happened to the ghosts, witches, princesses, and vampires? I will tell you what happened. They grew up, and became sluts (not that I am judging).
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The Witch grew into the Wicked Witch, and the Princess became a Hooker, while the Vampire became a Trampire. What happened to the innocence of Halloween? It used to be about the candy, and the pumpkins. Now, it is more about the "Tricks", than the Treats.
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However, to keep with the Halloween Spirit, I feel it is my duty to show you some of my favorites.
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The Pirate.
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I don't remember anyone looking like this on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. Nor do I remember any in the the three movies . But I have a feeling if there had been, parts 2 and 3 would have been so much better!








A Devil.

Ok, I get this one. It is Halloween, and devils have always been popular. But for the life of me, I can honestly tell you that I don't remember a single one of them looking like this. It kind of makes you second think that whole, "devil is bad" thing, doesn't it.







A Nurse.

Hmmm.....I think I might be coming down with a fever. No wonder hospital bills are outrageous today. Who knew that they were offering "Escort Service" to their patients as well. I wonder how much insurance would cover.








The Mafia.
Wasn't she in The Godfather? No, it might have been Good Fellas. I just can't remember for sure.

It has got to be a difficult to hide a gun in that outfit somewhere. It has got to make it even harder to eliminate someone without being noticed in an outfit like this. This might not be the best choice of suit for a "Whacking".





Beer Wench

This is my favorite. You can't go wrong with this one. It is practical, colorful, and tasteful. Isn't that nice. She even has a beer in her hand for me. I feel so honored that she would feel the need to bring me a beer dressed as an authentic beer maid from Germany.


I just love Halloween!

-Prost

Top 5 list. Drinking Buddies.

Everyone has a list. No, not that list. The other one. The 5 people you would want to have dinner with. I'm not going to say Jesus, Nelson Mandella, Ghandi, the Dhali Llama, and Bono. That would be extremely boring. So screw dinner, I want to drink with these guys.

My Top 5 Drinking Buddy list.

5. Sam Calagione. The "Brewing Rock Star" himself of Dogfish Head Brewery. How can I not have my "man crush" on my list? The guy is an artist when it comes to brewing. He is a modern day beer guru. And a big bonus, he can bring the beer!

4. Babe Ruth. The "Sultan of Swat". What is a party without the Babe? This guy could drink everyone under the table. and still go 4 for 5 with 2 home runs the next day. Anyone who can drink like that deserves a seat at the bar in my book.

3. Leonardo DaVinci. "Artist, Inventor". This man was nothing short of a genius. Could you imagine what he could come up with as a beer? What about a brewing process. I'm sure he could scratch out the design for a more efficient brewing machine on a bar napkin. It would revolutionize brewing as we know it today.

2. Charles Barkley. "Sir Charles". We all know the Chuckster likes to drink and have a good time. I would never have to worry about the conversation because Charles always has something to say. And if we get lucky, he just might throw someone through a plate glass window.

1. Benjamin Franklin. "Patriot, Brew Master". Where would we be today without Ben? Without a sweet-ass quote. We beer people know it and live it. Sure, he was smart too. But the guy liked to party! Besides working insane hours inventing stuff and helping to form a new government, he loved to brew beer. Wouldn't it be cool to hear him talk about his brewing process as he bitched about Sam Adams and John Hancock.

Alternate: Someone is bound to call in sick. So I need 1 more, just in case.

Jim Koch. "Microbrew Pioneer". The legend. The founder of Boston Beer and Samuel Adams Boston Lager. (That sounds so good right now). On a personal level, it is a dream of mine to meet the man. Plus he knows his beer! We could talk and drink beer all night long. It would be so cool to get a look inside that man's head.

Like it or not, this is my list. Believe me, it was so hard to narrow it down to just the main 5. I thought of many others. But for the reasons given, I had to remove them from contention.

John Lennon. But he would bring Yoko with him. And we all know what happens next. She would make him leave early.

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Jimi Hendrix. He could play a mean guitar. But "under the influence", he is likes to start fires.

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Henry the 8th. A "Big" party guy. But a bit of a hothead! He might get drunk and try to send us to the Gallows if we disagree with him.

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Elvis Presley. The King. He would be awesome. But I would have to worry every time he got up to use the bathroom. If he didn't try to steal my prescriptions, he might die on my "throne".

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Adolph Hitler. A little bit of a psycho. We could try to get him to hook up with Yoko. If not, Charles could throw him through the window!

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- Cheers!

Ten Pin Porter. I hate bowling.

I have a plan. You might have noticed that I jump around a lot with my beer selection. I try to stay as diversified as possible. Keep things loose. That’s the way I roll.

(Get it? The bowling thing? Never mind.)

Anyways, this is my new plan. I am going to try to avoid talking about the same kind of beer in consecutive posts. This will keep my pallet fresh for the next tasty brew.

Are you ready? Here it goes.

SKA-Brewing Ten Pin Porter. From Durango Colorado. I have had a few of their other brews. I really wanted to like this one, but I don’t think I do. It is OK. It represents a porter well. Has a nice color, and a pleasant chocolate and coffee aroma. It has a nice malt and a caramel taste, with a slight bitter finish. But the overall flavor is weak. I wanted it to have a better mouth feel. I took my time drinking it with hopes that the increasing temperature would bring an increased taste. But it didn’t. It just doesn’t compete with a good porter.

So to sum it up. Did I like it? No. Was it good? Yes. Would I recommend it? That depends. If you are in the mood for something a little darker, but don’t want to jump into the deep end, this is the porter for you. However, if you are looking for a good porter, get something else.

By the way, I really hate bowling.

-Cheers.

Austria, another place for beer

This is getting bad. Three beer reviews in a row. I have no problem giving my opinion on anything, so I guess I will give you my opinion on my latest beer, Stiegl Pils.

To begin with, I am a HUGE fan of the Bavaria and Austrian breweries. I first had this beer in Salzburg last year. As with nearly all of the beer I drank, I loved it. With that said, I was a little disappointed with it here at home. I was really hopping for a more authentic representation of an Austrian Pislner.

To start, the taste was a little weak. It didn't have an aftertaste, but a little bit of a bitterness as it left the pallet. Overall, it just didn't taste like it should have. The light color was typical and expected, with a quickly dissolving head.

I don't know if I had set such a high bar for it, or I am comparing it to what I remember. Either way, it just didn't measure up. I am a little bummed out.

So to sum it up. Did I like it? Yes. Was it good? No. Would I recommend it? I don't think so.

There are so many other beers like it, so don't waste you money on this one. Trumer Pils comes to mind. Just buy the beer on either side of this one.

-Prost!