My empty promises

I feel that I cant keep up with myself. There is so much I want to do, and so much I want to say, but I can't seem to find the time to do it. Is this an excuse? Probably.

When I sit down to write out my next new amazing blog post, I want it to be right. That's the way I am with most things in my life. I don't half ass anything. Because I do that, it prevents me from doing a lot of things that I want to do. Example, writing a blog post every other day.

I have plenty to write about. My life has been quite hectic as of late, which has really lit a fire under my ass to change things. Therefore my usual time of writing a blog post has been used instead on research, and reading, and education, and figuring out how I'm going to do everything I am setting out to do.

I have a list of 40 beer to write about. I have 3 pages of notes about last weeks Great Arizona Beerfest to share. I have some rough templates of websites I would love to get feedback on before I go live. I even found a welder who has agreed to build my Brutus 10 brewing system for me. I just don't want to write about any of these things until I have completed at least one of them to my satisfaction.

But I'll throw these gems out there. I registered my brewery name last week. That's good news huh. I finished off the Firestone keg in my kegerator, so I need to replace it. BevMo extended their hours so I can pick up my beer even later now. I'm going to play in the Dogfish Head Bocce Ball tournament next month, as long as I can find another couple to play.

Things are changing. Things are definitely changing for the better. Sometimes life gets in the way of fun. But I'm working on that issue as well.

-Cheers.

Big Pour Beer List

Here we go.


9. Firestone - Oaktoberfest. This was a good beer. I am a sucker for Oktoberfests, and I loved this one. I know I liked it, and I remember it had a more hop style to it that I expect. With that said, I would buy it again. Well, if I could buy it, I would. Grade: 3.5 Burps.


Honestly, I've never been a fan of Firestone. I figured it was the tire company or the guy from The Bachelor making beer out back. The label also gave me the impression it was one of those fake microbrews owned by Anheuser Busch. Boy was I wrong.


I was lucky enough to spend about an 30 minutes talking to Jennifer, "The Goddess of Pale". This is where the beerfest really started for me. I was able to ask her questions about the beer and the brewery. And she was more than willing to share her thoughts and opinions. It was great. I learned so much about Firestone, that I am now a loyal fan. I hope to set up an interview with her soon.


10. Firestone - Aged. I spent so much time talking, and tasting, that I forgot to write down which beer it was. But I will tell you it was awesome. It is aged in their multi barrel system. It was really good. In fact, I am going to give it a good grade. Grade: 4 1/2 Burps


11. Speakeasy - Prohibition Ale. I have had this before, but it is worth trying again. It's a nice beer. Light and clean, with a citrus feel. It's a nice beer to have around for friends and novice beer drinkers. Grade: 3 burps

12. Full Sail - Session Black. It's better than the Lager. I would consider this to be a nice session beer. I would buy it, but I think I would be more interested in something else. I hate to not love this beer. Don't get me wrong, you will like it. Grade: 3 Burps

13. Full Sail - Brewers Reserve, Grandson of Spot IPA? I don't know exactly what it was. This was a table with "hired professionals". She offered us some "Jamaican Pastime", and poured us as much beer as we wanted. But she knew shit about beer. Grade: 3 Burps

14. Avery - IPA. From my notes, "Great Beer. I like it, actually love it". The hops flavor stuck around and didn't fade like a regular IPA. Avery is a great brewery. The IPA is a beer you have to try. Grade: 3 1/2 Burps

15. Bell's - Amber Ale. I have been able to try a few bottles of Bell's before. My friend Seawolf sent me a few bottles. But this was a new one. From my notes, "Very smooth beer. It's on the hops side, but has a clean finish". Grade: 3 1/2 Burps.

This is the point where I wrote down, "Finally Tipsy". It had been a good beerfest to this point. Had some average, good, and great beers. But I was only halfway through the evening.

-Cheers

Who's pouring the beer?

I was going through my Little Pink Notebook tonight, and I noticed something very bothersome. Many of the beers I tried had little to no information. Now hear me out before you judge. But I want to know who decided it was a good idea to hire models to pour beer at a Beerfest? Don't get me wrong, I don't mind if the model actually works for the brewery or actually knows something about the beer they are pouring. But I'm not there for a live Budweiser commercial.

This weekend at The Big Pour, I was constantly given blank stares when I asked about the brewery which they were pouring for. Most of them didn't know anything about the beer period! It was so annoying and aggravating.

There were so many breweries that I was excite to try. I really wanted to talk to someone who could tell me about the beer they were serving. I was excited to try all the new beers. I wanted to know about the different styles they brewed and what was available in my area. I wanted to ask them about the hops and the malts. I wanted to know how they brewed and aged their beers. But I couldn't.

Instead, I was told "I don't know" or "I don't work for the company". It sucked. So I usually took my sample, made a few notes, and moved on to the next table looking for a little beer conversation. Luckily, I was able to find it.

So a word to you, the distributors and breweries. Do yourself a favor. Use educated people to pour your beer. Most people who are willing to fork over $30 or more to try some quality beer aren't there for a Miller Light. They like beer, and they want to know about it. If they wanted some pretty girl to give them beer, they would head down to the local bar and have the girls sell them buckets of cheap, mass produced beer with hopes of winning a free koosie.

-Cheers

"I think I'm starting to like beer"

Queen: "Do you have any beer?"
Me: "Are you serious?" "Of course I have beer, I'm me."
Queen: "Do you have one that I might like"
Me: "Really?"
Queen: "I think I'm starting to like beer."

I have been known to help others switch teams. I enjoy educating anyone willing to listen, about beer. So far, I have had a very high success rate. Everyone from my Miller Lite swilling cousin, to the Queen's Wine drinking father.

But this was the last person I thought I would ever be able to show the way. Beer has never been her drink of choice. She has tried it plenty of times, but she still didn't like it.

Recently, she has been asking for a beer every now and then. Because I am so awesome at what I do, I gave her a Dogfish Head Punkin Ale. Guess what, she liked it. She liked it, a lot.

I guess it is time to make a trip to the BevMo to pick out a few different beers I think she might like. I'm so excited.

Can I tell you that I don't think I have ever loved my wife more than this very moment.

-Cheers!

Trick or Treat, give me some beer to drink

It was another fun Halloween in the Good Burp neighborhood. Drank some great beer. Made a few new friends, and scored a huge stash of candy. I must say, a job well done.

The doorbell was ringing before I opened my first beer. Sorry, but the kids had to wait until I was ready. How many times are they allowed to ring the doorbell by the way? Seriously, let me pop the cap off first. Thank you.

I asked for some of your favorite Halloween beers last week. I received 1 recommendation. That's it, just 1. At least is was from the Beer Budha. He knows what he is talking about. However, even with his helpful information, I still ended up with the beers I thought I would.

The first beer of the night was Dead Guy Ale from Rogue Brewery. I knew I was going to drink it on Halloween night the day I bought it. And I'm happy I did.

As I walked around the neighborhood, it became quite the conversation starter. The fellas were sure interested in the "Man" sized bottle of beer I was carrying around. It sure made those little bottles of Miller Lite and Heineken seem "girly". And it helped open the door for a few beer conversations.

As much as I enjoyed drinking the Dead Guy Ale, I think it served a higher purpose. It was a means of spreading the amazing, and sometimes a little bit scary, word of beer. Thanks to my beer, and my big mouth, it looks like I have become one of the most popular guys in the neighborhood. Once the word "kegerator" was mentioned, the next words were something like, "which house is yours again" and "how often are you brewing beer" and my favorite, "when can I come over"?

-Happy Halloween.

Bud Light Golden Wheat?

Are you kidding me? First it was Bud Light Chelada. Then it was Bud Light Lime. Now it's Bud Light Golden Wheat? What the hell is this all about?

Bud light has become the CSI of beers. In their attempt to market yet another variation of their Bud Light series of beers, Anheuser Busch gives you Bud Light Golden Wheat. An unfiltered wheat beer brewed with "wheat malt, coriander, and citrus peels".

Could it be that InBev (Anheuser Busch) actually cares about making a nice tasting beer? No, it's just marketing. I'm sure it is nothing more than a direct attempt to gain market share from the Miller Coors Blue Moon drinkers? That seems to be the beer with the largest demand these days. A beer that most uneducated beer drinkers think is a craft brewed beer.

Don't expect a review of it here. It's not going to happen. That's not the kind of beer drinker I am. Plus, I don't think A/B ever intended for me to drink one. If they did, they are really stupid. Your average beer snobs will avoid this beer like the Swine Flu.

There are plenty of other "Wheat" style beers out there if you want one. Do yourself a favor, and try any of of them before you actually waste your hard earned money on a bottle of anything with a Bud Light label on it.

-Cheers!

"This beer doesn't taste right"

I wish I could claim this story, but I doubt it would ever happen to me. Instead, it happened to a good friend of mine (Fireman). As with 99.5% of my friends, he doesn't know about my blog, so I doubt he will ever read this. Thus, he can't be embarrassed.

Fireman decided to have some friends over last weekend for a good ole' fashion Beer and BBQ party. Fireman is a beer guy, and one of my Beer Students. As guys do, he wanted to show off a little bit and have some cool beers available.

He gave me a call and asked what he should pick up for his friends to drink. He wanted something imported, and on he lighter side. I told him to go with something from Germany. Who doesn't love a beer from Germany? Well, as long as it isn't Becks or St. Paulie Girl. I told him that he couldn't go wrong with something from Paulaner, one of my favorites.

By the time his friends arrived, he had all the Paulaner chilling in the cooler, and ready to go. It doesn't take long for a guy to drink a free beer. And it didn't take long for the guys to go through nearly 2 cases of it.

A few hours, and many beers later, Fireman still felt pretty good. He figured his training at my house with some serious beers was finally paying off. He really enjoyed the Paulaner Oktoberfest at my house. However, he wasn't sold on the taste of this one.

Eventually, he came to the realization that, "this beer doesn't taste right". He thought he just picked out a beer that was a little too light. After 3 hours of drinking his special German brew, he was puzzled why he didn't have his usual buzz.

This is where it finally hit him. No, not the o-so enjoyable buzz, but the word on the side of the Paulaner -Thomasbrau box. There it was, in not so big, bold letters......."Non Alcoholic Beer".

Rookies.

-Prosit!

How to teach an old dog a new beer

I love to teach people about beer. Normally, it is my friends. However, lately it has been my father in law. It was a little intimidating to teach the wine lover, the finer points of beer. But guess what, it's working.

I am lucky enough to have a cool father in law. Don't get me wrong, he used to scare me when I was a kid. When I explain to people what he is like, all I have to say is Red Forman. Yes, my father in law is Red Forman from That 70's Show. Looks like him, talks like him, drinks like him, and was probably in the same platoon with him.

For as long as I have know him, he has enjoyed a beer from time to time, but wine has been his drink of choice. We usually talk about sports, cars, and money. But we have been talking more and more about beer. The last few times he has come over, he has had a beer, or two with me. And you know I am not giving him cheap beer. He really liked the Flying Dog Old Scratch Lager. I think he had 2 pints during the game. Funny thing, he was done. I don't think he was prepared for the punch of a high alcohol beer.

Yesterday, we went to the baseball game. What better way to enjoy a baseball game, than with a beer. How cool is it that we have a Gordon Biersch beer stand at the stadium? So that is all I drink. So I asked him if he wanted a beer. He said sure, and told me to point the way. I asked him what kind of beer he wanted. "Whatever you are having has got to be good". So I ordered up two of my favorites, Marzens. It is my favorite style of beer, and Gordon Biersch makes a good one.

Cut to the chase, he liked it, a lot. He commented on it several times. By the 3rd inning, it was gone. Now I know the guy can drink, but I was impressed, and a little proud. That one beer was enough for him. I could have used a few more though. We played like the Bad News Bears. Honestly, it was the worst game I have every watched. I was so mad. We made a run late, but still lost.

When we got home, he told my mother in law about the beer he had at the game. He told her how much he liked it, and that he really enjoyed it. He then told her that she needs to quit drinking that piss, I mean Michelob Light. I told him if he wanted to try another beer, I had a great one upstairs in my kegerator he might like. He was all for it.

I poured him a half pint of the Avery Russian Imperial Stout. This is a big beer for most people. But he drank it like a man. He commented that it was a little thick for him, but he still enjoyed it. Next time, I am going to pour him a pint of the Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA. I doubt he will like it, but it just might grow on him.

I sent him home with my normal list of beers he should try. Stone, Rogue, Sierra Nevada, New Belgium, and Gordon Biersch. He said he was going to pick some up and give them a try. I think he is going to enjoy them. Who wouldn't?

I think I represented the Beer Snob well. I have converted yet another to our team. Not to pat myself on the back, but when you convert a Red Forman, you did a great job.

-Cheers!

Damn, I throw a good party!

Has it really been 10 days since my last post? Did I really drink that much? (Yes, I did). I have been shying away from most things beer since the big bash last weekend. I'll tell you a secret. I have had only 2 beers (yes TWO) since that fateful night. That is how good my party was.

This little get together for 40 of my closest friends. After the one we had last Christmas, everyone was excited for this one. It was the place to be. And I think all who remember being here will agree with me. It was a blast!

Since I carry the torch of "Beer Snob", it was vital that I had some great beer on tap. I had to take some time and really think about what the masses would enjoy. I had to consider taste, experience, and ABV. I needed to choose a variety of different styles of beer so people would have a choice, as well as the option to try a really good beer that they might never have chosen on their own. Besides, it give me the opportunity to educate the "Beer Rookies", and the girlyman who brought the Smirnoff Ice.

What did I choose as my means of education?
1. Sierra Nevada - Summer Lager. I wanted a beer that the women would drink. A beer that would be a little on the normal side. This was the first time for 8 or 10 of them, and I wanted to make sure there would be something they would enjoy.

2. Dogfish Head - 90 Minute IPA. Honestly, this one was for me. I was willing to share, but it is mine. I think there were a few pints pulled by some of the fellas. For the most part, they avoided it, and chose keg 1, or 3. What was keg number 3?

3. Avery - Russian Imperial Stout. Yes, that is right. How cool am I that I would hook up a keg of this beer, and let people drink from it for free? It can't be measured. But hey, that's how I roll. It is quite an amazing beer. It was the most popular beer of the night. Even the guy who tried to buy his way into my inner circle by bringing a 6er of Dogfish Head Indian Brown Ale, spent the night "enjoying" (aka POUNDING) the Avery.

At first, the ABV of the beers was my little secret. However I realized that there was way too much alcohol in this house, and it was flowing like a river down my stairs. However, by the time I told the guys that the Stout was about 12% alcohol, it was too late. Most just kept on drinking it.

The party was a huge success. The cops didn't show up. But one did throw up in my front yard. At last count, there were 5 guys who were unable to hold on to their alcohol that night. 3 of them didn't even make it to the car. At least they did it in my yard and not my living room.

O ya, I almost forgot. Remember that guy who brought the Dogfish Head, and spent the night trying to become a real life Russian? He spent the night hooked up to an I.V. But all is well. He is fine.

That is the story, and I'm sticking to it.

-Cheers!

The Beer Dork

Ok. How can I say this without sounding pretentious, or like a flat out beer snob? I don't think I can.

Hey, beer dork. Shut up. You don't know what the hell you are talking about. You sound like an infomercial for Miller Lite. Are you seriously telling the people sitting with you that "triple hopping" was invented by Miller? Did you just describe the taste of Hops, as "Hoppy"? Yes you did, I heard you. I nearly shot my Stone Arrogant Bastard out of my nose.

What was that little gem you just spewed? Budweiser is the oldest beer in America? Are you serious Cliff Claven? Where are you getting this information? I think you are spending to much time watching the logos and commercials on Nascars. All that turning left must have made you dizzy. I need to ignore you now.

But I can't. All your bull shit is violating my ears. No, you can not tell the beer was made with rice because of the color. No, dark beer isn't made with brown rice. That's it. I am done.

You are just a dumbass. That's it. Nothing more. And it is idiots like you that make real "Beer Snobs" like us, look bad. So how about you actually put down your so-called "micro brew" (aka, Blue Moon) and try a real beer.

Tale from a beer line.

This is going to be short, and sweet. It has been a long day, and I feel like going to bed. But dammit, said I would do this, so here it is.

I was looking through the beers yesterday at, the BevMo. And I noticed these three Frat looking guys. They pushed the shopping cart up and down the rows a few time. Ultimately, they picked up a case of the usual college brews, Bud Light and Miller Lite.

I wasn't judging. They are young, and stupid. But I didn't realize just how stupid they really were. One of the three seemed to have a little style with his beer choices. He walked over and picked up a 6 pack of Samuel Adams Boston Lager. I thought to myself, good choice young man. You are have a future in the beer world.

But I soon realized how screwed we all are. He showed the 6 pack to his friends, put it in their cart and blurted out this gem:

"I drink Sam Adams because he makes good beer, and was a good President".

Wow. The public education system did it's job well, didn't it. Because I really doubt this genius made it into college, or "colege" like his shirt said.

-Cheers!

Beer Education 101

Damn, there is nothing on TV but the freaking Presidential Address. What should I do instead? How about I tell you a story. This is a true story. A true story of the compassion and education I share with the masses on a daily basis, for the greater good.

There is a guy at work. Lets call him Ship. He is a cool guy. He reminds me of a guy who likes to party and have a good time. But with that observation comes the problem. Ship drinks light beer. What a shame.

Today, we were talking about stuff like our wives, sports, our hobbies, and whatever guys talk about around the water cooler. Somehow, the subject of beer came up. What were the odds of that? I have no idea, But he asked me if I liked beer. Isn't that funny? Do I like beer?

I started into a 20 minute speech about why I LOVE BEER. I had an introduction, a body of support, and a closing statement. Ship was a little shocked. He had no idea that I was the kind of guy who would drink beer. Was that a compliment? I really don't care. But I still don't know what the type looks like.

Then Ship started asking me questions about my beer likes and dislikes. "What do you drink"? I love this question. What do I drink? It depends on the day. "Have you ever had this beer, or that beer". What do you think? Then he started to tell me some of the beers he has had, and which ones he "kind of enjoyed". Some like New Belgium, Sam Adams, St. Paulie Girl, and Sierra Nevada.

Now, I had something to work with. I told him to hop on the bus, because I was going to take him to school. And before I knew it, I was "educating" him on the different styles and different breweries he should try. I grabbed a piece of paper and started writing down the beers he should try. I tried to keep it simple. I gave him a list of the beers he should be able to find at a local grocery store or at the least, a BevMo. I think I put down a list of 12 or so to start him off. I could see how interested he was as he read the list and asked questions about every one of them.
When I noticed how enthralled he was, I knew I had been successful. I had just converted him to our side. Yes, I convinced a beer drinker to become a "Beer Enjoyer". I added a new disciple to my group. How do I know, because he is planning on going to "Beerfest" next weekend.

You read that right. Next weekend is Beerfest 2009! And I plan on writing a full report. It will be full of beer and boobs for all of you to enjoy.

It's time to go. I think the President just promised to make it rain beer every Saturday while he is in office. Awesome!

-Cheers!